F*ck “Self-Care”
Just in care you needed one more reason to feel like you aren’t keeping up, let us consider whether your “self-care” is up to standard.
No???? Wow. Shocking.
KNOW WHY? Because getting the “recommended” amount of sleep, water, exercise, “me time,” journaling, vitamins, etc., etc. is abso-freakin-lutely impossible. Wait—sorry, actually, you know who IS able to do self-care 100% on a daily basis? Liars. That’s who.
Anyone with a job, kid, friend, patient, dog, significant other, or family member has, at one time or another, gone without food, sleep, or bathroom breaks because to do otherwise would compromise something or someone that was more important than “self-care.” Sometimes, it is a dream that would die, for others it could be a person. Regardless, the loss or the threat of loss was unacceptable, so “me time” fell to the wayside.
For my next #unpopularopinion, let me recommend that mental health professionals stop subtly shaming people for burning the midnight oil. Too many times I’ve worked to clean up the fallout after a well-meaning “holistic workshop” that a surgeon, CEO, or single mother of 4 attended because after returning, they can’t find the time to journal like they “committed to do.” Not only that, but they aren’t able to “access feelings” like they were taught during psychodrama classes so now they think there is something wrong with them. They now have one more thing to feel bad about and more for their to-do list.
Therapists need to stop treating everyone the same when it comes to how much traditional “self-care” is recommended. Some people are Warriors and Caregivers, not Sages, Innocents, and Artists. Warriors need a therapist’s help taking off their armor, airing it out, and putting it back on when it’s time for battle, not destroying it entirely. Caregivers need a therapist’s help to avoid martyrdom while finding people to care for; they don’t need them to pathologize their sacrifices.
Want 3 “take-homes?” Here they are:
1. Failure to take care of yourself from time to time is completely human and completely normal. It is what differentiates you from a narcissistic psychopath (no offense to either diagnosis, of course).
2. Stop beating yourself up for not taking “self-care time,” it’s not an “all or nothing” thing. A soda at 4pm can be considered “self-care.”
3. And finally, “you do you” because the Sages, Innocents, and Artists will call for the Warriors and Caregivers to fight the battle and heal the wounds. As the saying goes, “it takes all kinds.”
Take care ;)
About PSYCHē
We found your therapist.
Our goal is simple: We want to connect you with your perfect therapist. The first step is to meet online with an expert PSYCHē clinician who knows the right questions to ask to find out what kind of therapist will be the best fit for you. After hearing your history, goals, and what you’re looking for (and NOT looking for!) we go to work getting you scheduled with someone who can help. Why wait? Leave the searching to us.
Here’s why we do what we do:
Finding a good therapist is hard — we should know. We’ve been hiring, training and supervising therapists since 2009. Not all of them make the cut or stand the test of time. We find good THERAPISTS, not business owners or social media experts, so you get matched with the right clinician the first time. And if it doesn’t work out, we’re here to make it right.
No online directory can make that promise.
A directory tells only part of the story. Just because your neighbor likes someone doesn’t mean they’re a fit for you. The fact is, finding the right therapist can be exhausting. That’s why we’ve done the work for you. Let us pair you with a great therapist. First, book a consultation with one of our in-house therapists who will ask the right questions to find out exactly what you’re looking for. Next, our team of expert clinicians will work their professional magic to pair you with YOUR perfect therapist. The only step left is meeting your therapist and…doing therapy!
You shouldn’t have to find your own therapist.
Sifting through hundreds of therapist profiles online is probably NOT how you want to be spending your time. Word-of-mouth is great, but it’s not always available… and you may not want to see the same therapist as your neighbor or co-worker. We all know that online reviews are biased and the bottom line is, it can be hard to get an idea of what someone is really like until you actually meet them. That takes work, time, and in the case of therapy, money. We’ve done the work for you so finding a therapist for yourself or a loved one doesn’t have to feel like your second job.
If we don’t have the right therapist, we’ll find the right therapist.
Our goal is to contract with good therapists in every state, each with expertise in specific areas. If there is a therapist you need but we don’t have, give us some time and we’ll locate one. Don’t like the therapist we matched you with? No problem, we’ll find another—and you won’t have to go through the annoyance and hassle of doing another information gathering session. Our job is to find you YOUR therapist so you can do your job and feel better fast.
